swaslu - inexorable espresso evolution

ABOUTswaslu
- SWASLU
  
  ... Inexorable Espresso Evolution ...
  There ... WILL ... BE ...
  
  BETTER ... ESPRESSO ...
  
  more flavor, less labor.
  
  from our espresso cellar!
  
  In the beginning ... a giant, abandoned looking former bathhouse on 4th Ave in Brooklyn.
  
  Passed it by for about a year, made offer, was accepted ...
  cobbled together down payment. Closed on purchase December 1994.
  
  After a year or so triaging the internals,
  opened as a coffee shop (and sometimes theater)
  using a pretty good local roaster for coffee in our Bunn brewer.
  
  Business boomed as we took deep dive into monster La Marzocco triple headed monster using Caffe Darte - then -Philly's La Colombe -then Intelligentsia.
  
  Then a hurricane where we ditched the espresso machine beast ---for the ROK ---
  for a week saving us counter space and electric whilst making excellent espresso.
  
  In the middle ... it got string theory level complicated.
  
  String theory, like espresso, has a whole lotta dimensions, parameters, if you will ...
  --Farm: Plant type, elevation, sunshine, humidity, rainfall, seasonal temp : 6 dimensions
  --Roasting: Time, temp, mix of beans, length of roast : 4 more dimensions.
  --Grinding: Time from roast to use, amount, fineness, humidity : 4 more dimensions.
  --Drawing: Tamping, pre-infusion, pressure, time : 4 more dimensions.
  
  18, eighteen, EIGHTEEN degrees of freedom to get you that espresso for your latte.
  Is it any wonder it is a rabbit hole to do at home, even the 8 for Grinding and drawing?
  
  In the end ... we launched SWASLU : to get better espresso ---- to the consumer, you!
  
  We have drawn thousands of shots on the ROK
  
  and find, as an instrument of fine espresso,
  it makes far better espresso
  than most cafes or you
  can make from home for less than
  a $3,000 investment and a hundred hours,
  at a minimum, of experimentation and learning.
  
  In the end, if that is your bag, have at it.
  If not, we can provide you depth, complexity and variety of flavor ...
  and convenience with minimal labor on your part.
  
  We sell DOUBLE SHOT (2oz) jars of frozen espresso, done individually,
  with excruciating attention to detail not common at most any cafe, on the ROK.
  
  We sample at markets and street fairs (pay what you wish),
  We sell variety sampler packs (4 or 8 in a pack), and
  We have a deposit subscription plan (discounted 12 jars/month + shipping)
  
  We have a limited number of deposit subscription slots available
  which get you a bankable 12 jars a month.
  
  If you don't use the 12 jars, that is, don't order all that month,
  anything less than 12 is bankable.
  
  Subscription deposit is a refundable $100 per $.10 discount on the price.
  (up to $2,500 getting you $2.50 off of the $5.00 price)
  
  Deposit returnable on 90 days notice.
  
  i.e., a $100 option with get you 12 jars, bankable, per month, @ $4.90 per jar.
  
  Discount maxes out at $2.50 for a $2,500 refundable deposit.
  
  saving $2.50/jar for 12 jars/month, or $30/month for the $2,500 refundable deposit
  $30/month X 12 months=$360 =14.4% ROI on the subscription deposit of $2,500.
  
  We have a limited number of slots as we are restricting it to
  a number of members we can readily handle @ 12 double shot jars/month.
  
  -- 15 years of a Brooklyn theatre/coffee shop/cafe --
  a blackout and the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy
  taught us that there is another, better, more ecological,
  way to get the most out of your espresso.
  -- When the espresso sediment settles,
  the new boss may well be different than the old boss.
  --Till then we are pulling espresso shots the SwaSlu way, on the muddy road again!
  --We make it a point not to be a roaster and will be highlighting a cornucopia of espresso roasts at some home bases, some events, some markets and some fairs.
  --Interested in better americanos/lattes than you could ever do at home?
  
  Take a dip into our SWAmp of espresso SLUrry - SWASLU.com
SHOTSROK Shots
- THE WAR ROOM
  
  THE RESULTS
  
  shot videos
SHOPartisanal
- GET YOU SOME SWASLU!

TRAININGon the ROK

ROK TRAINING

What is the ROK?

The ROK is an espresso urban legend slayer ....

Amazingly designed heatsink with levers and pressure.

Add near boiling hot water and espresso and some knowledge and
you can pull tremendous espresso shots and make lattes better than most cafes....

without the giant waste of resources espresso machine.

Why use the ROK?

Because its simplicity is space saving, beautiful, efficient, effective, inexpensive and convenient.

How long to get good shot on the ROK?

A two hour individual class at your home or our kitchen, or,
a two hour group class at our kitchen.

We show you what to do first, with minimal theory,
and explain the deep dive theory afterwards.

With a few simplifying assuptions,
string theory level espresso complexity becomes manageable!

How much are group classes at the Kitchen?

Groups of 3 are $150 a person. Class lasts 2 hours.

How much are individual classes?

Individual classes either:
at your home ($500)
or at our kitchen ($400).
Class lasts 2 hours.

What do I walk away with?

Knowledge and 12 doubleshot jars to take home from the group class.
More Knowledge and more double shot jars (approx 16) to take home from the individual class.

P.S. you will be able to take home a few other roasts from our espresso cellar in exchange for a few we pull during class.

What else do I need ... and why?

For the class, not much. Just an eye for detail and the need for speed, e.g. caffeine!

To continue at home you need the following:

the ROK	$240
Naked portafilter	$40
Electric Hot water urn	$80 - $140
Hot water urn stand	$20 (est)
Dirty water collector tray	$30
Thermometer	$25
Knock box	$50
Tamper, solid	$75
Leveler	$50
WDT	$20
Good quality .... used ... flat burr grinder	$500 (est)
Jars/Lids	$12/24
Cone rubber jar opener	$5
Clasp jar opener	$10
Jar opening pad	$10
Bellman steamer	$140
Electric water heater (small)	$30
TOTAL (est. not including various shipping charges)	$1,327

Can you bundle all of that?

Sure, we charge $1600 to pull it together and deliver/ship it to you. Add a class at the kitchen and call it an even $1800 to get rolling and get trained.

HONEST NUMBERS

Pay the freight and take the class ($1800)...

--You can make double shots at about $0.75 per doubleshot.
--You get to hunt down, order, and prepare the espresso.
--From start to finish, using boiling water from a tea kettle, about 20 min to get 1st shot. 3 minutes each thereafter.
--Make a bag at a time and it takes about an hour to do a 12 oz bag, approx 16 jars. So 5 min per.
--Using from fridge/freezer ... about ten minutes
--Break even, at a jar a day, in 15 months

-or-

Use us @ $5 / per jar ... You get:

--stock for freezer/fridge at no effort.
--more variety than you will probably ever attempt.
--higher quality average shot.
--no $1800 drop to start.
--Minimal effort/time, maximal enjoyment

SAMPLEswaslu
- CROSSING OUR ESPRESSO RUBICON***
  
  made us ready to present to the world
  
  our cellar of espresso
  frozen in suspended animation
  (In 2-oz “double shot” jar portions)
  
  ***(point of no return)
  
  No need to take our word for it. Sample from our espresso cellar. Check our calendar and sample there!
  
  CROSS YOUR OWN ESPRESSO RUBICON
  
  sample some espressos
  
  ... cross your rubicon …
  
  If you like what you sample*** ... accept a card with a QR code on it. ... get our very simple app,
  use the QR code (or the app) to order
  a couple of what you just sampled. (Our app doesn’t collect any tracking info,
  its just good coffee …
  we don’t need or want to stalk you). ***If you want to taste that particular elixir delivered to you in the future
RULESget SwasSlu
- GET YOU SOME ---RANDOM--- SWASLU!
  
  ---OR---
  
  PURCHASING
  of any roast you have tried/approved
  
  ...1st order... limited to 2 jars of that roast + 2 random roasts to review
  
  ...2nd order... limited to 4 jars of reviewed roasts+ 4 random roasts to review
  
  ...3rd order... limited to 6 jars of reviewed roasts+ 2 random roasts to review
  
  ...4th+ order... limited to combination of up to 8 approved roasts and random roasts
  
  Level Benefits Rookies(1-4 AR***): can order what they have sampled + swag. Veterans(5-8 AR): rookies + two jars of 1 URPO****** All-Stars(9-12 AR): rookies + two jars each of 2 URPO Super-stars(13-16 AR): rookies + two jars each of 3 URPO Hall-of-famers(17-20 AR): rookies + two jars each of 4 URPO ***= Approved Roasts, ******=Un-sampled Roast Per Order.
  
  SHIPPING
  
  One day a week
  
  -- UPS 2nd day ground from Maine to Ohio to Virginia
  
  --USPS 2nd day priorty from Maine to New England, Eastern NYS, Eastern PA and New Jersey.
  
  ---FEDEX Next day ground from Maine to New England, Eastern NYS, Northern NJ.
  
  other locations incur additional shipping costs.
  
  If you have sampled,
  and used QR code or app to approve,
  you can order via link sent to you or the app.
ARM-TWISTa pitch
- ARM TWISTING
  
  Make at least 4 orders from Swaslu
  & the app allows for you to
  have us process a roast you want.
  
  Tell us your favorite roaster/roast we will do a 12 oz bag
  and send you 12 jars of your own roast. This takes a bit of communication as
  we will order straight from your favorite roaster.
  
  CONTRACTING
  
  Roasters: Run your roast through our paces?
  Register as a commercial client and send us a 12 oz bag.
  
  We process it … you get 1/2 jars made sent back to you
  at a nominal cost + shipping. … we get a few
  and a few will be needed to dial it in… .
  
  PRIVATE ROAD SHOW
  
  Want a sampling experience for your group?
  
  For a nominal fee … we hitch up a mini espresso cellar wagon
  and bring it to your home/event.
CONTACTE-mail
send message
- Add my email please! Contact swaslu.com
LyceumDue Process
- BASIC... WORK IN PROGRESS
  
  LowDown - 2 simple things lead to ... a new Brooklyn Lyceum
  
  as the procedural due process legal swamp settles:
  
  All litigants are entitled to .... --#1 Basic 5th grader math skills
  from 4 appellate court judges
  w/ 140 years of combined legal experience.
  --#2 Those same judges addressing,
  after it being brought to their attention
  at oral argument, the utter failure of Plaintiff
  to serve any papers on Lyceum attorney,
  not finding what is impossible if they did so,
  that the Plaintiff timely moved.
  
  HELP US pre-program the return of a
  PROCEDURAL DUE PROCESS DEPRIVED Brooklyn theater.
  
  If you think, like us, this is utterly ridiculous,
  Help us as we take action to undo this situation.
  
  NEXT: KNOWDOWN to prepare for Procedural Due Process THROWDOWN/SHOWDOWN!
  
  KnowDown ---- Basic math and basic logic ...
  
  THE GOOD FIGHT : PROCEDURAL DUE PROCESS
  
  --Appellate Court, 4 judge panel w/ 140 years combined legal experience,
  slyly made a finding that the Brooklyn Lyceum moved too late
  because the Lyceum's motion, A (served/entered/argued on Oct 17/19/22),
  came AFTER the ENTRY of Judgment of Foreclosure, B (entered Oct 26)
  without ever citing the entry dates of the motion and the Judgment
  (whose entry date does not exist anywhere in the record on appeal).
  
  This is utter horseshit because the standard in New York
  ALWAYS starts and ends with NOTICE OF ENTRY, not just ENTRY.
  Also horseshit because:
  the motion (A) is datetime stamped AFTER the Judgment (B), not before.
  
  By making a finding premised on a bullshit standard
  and factually incorrect even with the bullshit standard,
  you have to wonder, who wrote this decision, why,
  and why it took four months to come up with the bullshit finding?
  
  -- Same court, same ruling, found, with no proof cited,
  that Plaintiff timely moved the 1st motion in case,
  despite the Lyceum raising the failure to serve Lyceum attorney
  at oral argument on appeal before the 4 judges,
  again without citing the dates of any actions or documents.
  
  Bullshit finding that a motion never served on Lyceum attorney
  is timely, or even done at all.
  ThrowDown --- Make noise with us ...
  Club JAFO: Send in affirmation along lines as decribed below. Get a curatorial vote.
  Club MARU: We use any affirmation in court filing. First use of any affirmation gets you another curatorial vote.
  Club JafoMaru: Appear at a JafoMaru Function. More votes based on what the action is.
  prior thoughts on THROWDOWN
  
  --A) READ STATUTE--requiring service of all papers on attorneys.
  --B) READ SHORT TREATISES--
  -- common law v. statute,
  --common law (informal) appearance v. statutory appearance
  --C) READ CASELAW--
  --showing failure to serve attorney never invokes power of the court, vests no rights and has no deadline (statute of limitations) to vacate the decision
  
  --showing informal appearance valid as appearance.
  
  --showing extension of time to answer and service of answer are informal appearances
  
  --D) READ DOCKET--
  --Note that a Plaintiff attorney affirmation swearing no appearance by any Defendant dated ... is attached to a notice of motion dated ... and entered ....
  
  --Note motion decision premised on that affirmation.
  
  --Note date of same attorney affirmation three years later swearing otherwise ... that Plaintiff attorney granted Defendant attorney two extensions of time, multiple oral extensions of time and that Plaintiff rejected Defendant answer back to Defendant Lyceum's attorney.
  
  --Note dates of extensions and service and rejection of answer are prior to date of previous sworn statement of no appearance in support of earlier motion.
  
  --Note same judge premising decision on extensions of time to Defendant Lyceum's attorney.
  
  --Note proofs of service of 1st motion are not on Defendant Lyceum's attorney
  
  --E) ACT--
  --Send Affirmation or notarized Affidavit or notarized Jurat
  
  --Submit caselaw from any jurisdiction (for or against our position)
  
  --Appear live or zoomlike at a hearing
  
  --Appear at event
  
  --F) VOTE ON--
  --Events Lyceum or proxy Lyceum .
  
  --Assisting Other procedural due process cases.
  
  GOWANAGUS.COM
  ShowDown --- Math and Logic and Noise for a new Lyceum!
  BASICS: We need to attack some decisions with some pretty specific arguments that the court exceeded its authority in acting, or had no authority whatsoever, largely due to lack of notice.
  
  ON THE HORIZON:
  With the help of some amount of the populace chiming in with brainstem sunlight, sunlight being the best disinfectant, these are a list of the options we think may be viable:
  1. Motion to reargue appellate panel of 4 judges with 140 years experience finding 17 or 19 or 22 > 26
  2. Motion to reargue appellate panel of 4 judges with 140 years experience failing to address what was raised at oral argumentand clear from the record on appeal, that Plaintiff failed to serve notice of motion on known to Plaintiff attorney for multiple defendants, rendering failure to respond to m otion or appear at oral argument irrelevant.
  3. Motion to appellate court as is allowed when lower court signs an order on no notice,
    failure to serve attorney being no notice.
  4. Motion to appellate court for clarification of exactly how it got Lyceum moved too late.

SWASLU

Inexorable Espresso Evolution

Flavor, not labor, from our espresso cellar!

birthed in a crucible in a crisis...
out of a somewhat swampy area of Brooklyn NY.

--
-- --
--

pressurized ... almost boiling ... hot water
manually forced ... thru ground espresso roasted coffee.
then frozen retaining undeniable flavor.

... Inexorable Espresso Evolution ...

in and of itself is not special,

... unless attention to detail is off the charts. ...

Swaslu re-examined some long held urban legends about espresso & applied as much scientific rigor as one person can stand.

CROSSING OUR ESPRESSO RUBICON***

made us ready to present to the world

our cellar of espresso
frozen in suspended animation
(In 2-oz “double shot” jar portions)

***(point of no return)

No need to take our word for it. Sample from our espresso cellar. Check our calendar and sample there!

CROSS YOUR OWN ESPRESSO RUBICON

sample some espressos

... cross your rubicon …

If you like what you sample*** ... accept a card with a QR code on it. ... get our very simple app,
use the QR code (or the app) to order
a couple of what you just sampled. (Our app doesn’t collect any tracking info,
its just good coffee …
we don’t need or want to stalk you). ***If you want to taste that particular elixir delivered to you in the future

GET YOU SOME ---RANDOM--- SWASLU!

---OR---

PURCHASING
of any roast you have tried/approved

...1st order... limited to 2 jars of that roast + 2 random roasts to review

...2nd order... limited to 4 jars of reviewed roasts+ 4 random roasts to review

...3rd order... limited to 6 jars of reviewed roasts+ 2 random roasts to review

...4th+ order... limited to combination of up to 8 approved roasts and random roasts

Level Benefits Rookies(1-4 AR***): can order what they have sampled + swag. Veterans(5-8 AR): rookies + two jars of 1 URPO****** All-Stars(9-12 AR): rookies + two jars each of 2 URPO Super-stars(13-16 AR): rookies + two jars each of 3 URPO Hall-of-famers(17-20 AR): rookies + two jars each of 4 URPO ***= Approved Roasts, ******=Un-sampled Roast Per Order.

SHIPPING

One day a week

-- UPS 2nd day ground from Maine to Ohio to Virginia

--USPS 2nd day priorty from Maine to New England, Eastern NYS, Eastern PA and New Jersey.

---FEDEX Next day ground from Maine to New England, Eastern NYS, Northern NJ.

other locations incur additional shipping costs.

If you have sampled,
and used QR code or app to approve,
you can order via link sent to you or the app.

ARM TWISTING

Make at least 4 orders from Swaslu
& the app allows for you to
have us process a roast you want.

Tell us your favorite roaster/roast we will do a 12 oz bag
and send you 12 jars of your own roast. This takes a bit of communication as
we will order straight from your favorite roaster.

CONTRACTING

Roasters: Run your roast through our paces?
Register as a commercial client and send us a 12 oz bag.

We process it … you get 1/2 jars made sent back to you
at a nominal cost + shipping. … we get a few
and a few will be needed to dial it in… .

PRIVATE ROAD SHOW

Want a sampling experience for your group?

For a nominal fee … we hitch up a mini espresso cellar wagon
and bring it to your home/event.

WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?

20 years of being involved in a Brooklyn coffee shop/theater,
a blackout (2003) & a hurricane (2012)
got us hooked on doing espresso manually,

---untethered by an expensive, often unruly, espresso machine beast.

Along the way we learned to honor the progression of roasting flavor profiles … Flower, Fruit, Nut, Wood, Charcoal, Ash, Burnt Oil.

Espresso is string theory level complicated.

As such we eventually honed in on a process that makes simplifying decisions in our n-dimensional space that do not negatively impact the quality of the final product in seeking to revolve around a documentable process to get excellent taste and to investigate urban espresso legends along the way.

Our research.... is your espresso cellar gain.