Swaslu: Inexorable Espresso Evolution
Roaster Flavor Without the Labor

When the Brooklyn Lyceum gets done
fighting over a non-trivial set of procedural due process violations ...

There ... WILL ... BE ... BETTER ... COFFEE ...
on the Brooklyn Lyceum block.
till then
... Out & About & On The Road w/an answer:
... Inexorable Espresso Evolution ...
Flavor, not labor, from our espresso cellar!
-- 15 years of a coffee shop/ cafe
and the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy taught us that
there is another, more ecological, way.

-- When the Lycem Due Process dust settles,
we may be taking on,
or taking out,
Starbucks with our own Espresso cellar.

--Till then we are pulling espress shot the SwaSlu way, ont the road again!

We make it a point not to be a roaster
and will be presenting multitudes of flavors of roasters
from, well, everywhere at events, markets and fairs.

Interested in a review or a pop-up? Take a dip HERE

Judicial violations of due process brought to you by
Judge Donald Scott Kurtz & Judge Reinaldo Rivera

While we work on the courts either :
  • accepting the original judicial checkmate
    (complaint was statutorily abandoned)
  • accepting the new judicial checkmate
    the court retroactively created
    in avoiding that original judicial checkmate
    (failure to serve our atty any papers, AND,
    notice to appear a decade in the past,
    no matter whom was served).
We are looking at a couple of interim sites in our other haunts
(New York State, Philadelphia and Maine).

Judicial violations of due process brought to you by
Judge Donald Scott Kurtz & Judge Reinaldo Rivera
Don't Blink Espresso

magical mix - a bit of this, a dash of that, voila MORE

ethereal espresso plane


While Swaslu seeks out stellar espresso roasts

and processes the roasts into an espresso cellar (hundreds of roasts drawn and frozen in time with key flavor details locked in place forever), we live to experiment.  When we find a combo that works for us we want to share it with you.

Thus, Blink Espresso, a magical combination of espressos.

Stealth Roasts

We do the labor ... pushing roaster flavor! - marketing espresso is a tasty job ... someone has to do it. MORE

TLDR / Summary -

Swaslu samples Stealth Roast Americanos

(and, on occasion, other espresso based drinks) using anonymous flash frozen manual (https://www.rok.coffee ) espresso roasts at events ... and collects up unbiased reviews and comments.

Swaslu collates the results and creates a database of anonymous taste preference information.

Americanos (and espresso based drinks) will rule the world!

***NOTE: we often mix a bit of this espresso and a bit of that espresso making the don't blink espresso

Dear Roaster:

SwaSlu Stealth Roast Opportunity - When the Roaster gets busy, the busy Roaster gets marketing help! MORE

It is all about the Marketing! -

In a world that expects ever more production from an ever shrinking timeframe, one can sometimes use some help.

That is what SwaSlu.com is set up to accomplish, more for, and from, your  STEALTH ROAST with minimal effort from your staff, all without risk to the Brand.

The people behind SwaSlu.com spent 20 years cranking a cafe/coffee shop and theater and marketplace, the Brooklyn Lyceum ( brooklynlyceum.com), with two -  three hundred person occupancy activity spaces.

We learned quite a bit working with events big and small. While that venture is on hold (really long story, no time for that now), we have taken some learnings and applied them to sharpen the marketing axe, an espresso marketing axe.

All Things Espresso

Stories and commentary on Espresso - all the news thats fit to drink! MORE

the SHOT!!! -

Swaslu thinks, with its Permian mind, that espresso ain't all that complicated. It is all about an attention to rigorous detail that Swaslu nails, but mere mortal baristas cannot hope match at volume. 

And, armed with what baristas cannot match, we are hitting the road to sample a panoply of STEALTH ROASTS from roasters nationwide all to spread the Americano love and  do unbiased market research for the roasters. 

First off, SwaSlu lets the roasters roast an build relationships with the growers.  The art of roasting and the effort to effectively interact with the growers is an important art best left to those who focus on that art, and is, really, the core foundation for great shots.

Second, SwaSlu digs into what espresso is as opposed to brewing.  That is on the science end of the spectrum, an end with which Swaslu is entirely familiar.

Espresso commands the taste from the grinds, whereas brewing coaxes out whatever flavor will willingly be coaxed.

Swaslu saves vital taste characteristics of the STEALTH ROASTS at our espresso workshop for sampling far from the normal machinery and preconceptions of espresso enabling our pop-up  roadshow. 

Americanos will come to rule the playing field, much as we did with infinite evolutional varieties over millions of years.

Snack Samples

Let us help you push your snack - whilst we push Stealth Roasts MORE


Many things go well with STEALTH ROAST Espresso.

Time to bring it home strong.

With an engaged espresso audience, we can sample your snacks and get feedback.

Apply here : https://swaslu.com/apply_snack.

500 Samplings over 8-16 event days.

And customer feedback to boot!

SwaSlu Philosophy

why SwaSlu do what it do - more espresso variants than are dreamt of in your philosophy MORE


SwaSlu 101:

Coffee is a fruit and one shall not roast a fruit till the essence of fruit is reduced to ashes.  You wouldn't do that to a grapefruit, so leave the coffee alone.

Espresso is a process, different from brewing, that extracts an otherworldly goodness when done well.

Espresso roasts are just roasts the roasters think would do well in the espresso process.  There is no standard.

Lighter roasts fade in milk based drinks.  So a bit less milk with lighter roasts in lattes and cappuccinos.

Espresso is origin of the universe level complicated : https://swaslu.com/wip/10044.

Americanos (espresso + a little hot H20) release flavors and nuances ordinary coffee can only bow to.

Freezing espresso shots is cool (pun intended) and allow for better Americanos than 95% of any brewed coffee, artisanal or not.

Many things go well with Espresso.

They should be liberally sampled (Submit Snack).

All things Trilobite

waiting since the permian - for a trilobite web compendium MORE

Trilobites = fascinating. -

With a trilobite as the swaslu representative, we want to give a shout out to these amazing creatures.

Rarely are there animals that survived hundreds of millions of years.

Enjoy some links and some discussion.

  1. A lament of the fate of trilobites
  2. Nigel Hughes (singer/professor)
  3. Trilobite (Deep Time)
  4. The Trouble With Trilobites
  5. Origins of Trilobites
Special Events

Wedding or focused service ... - Let SwaSlu serve you. MORE

Mediocre coffee got you down? -

Want tasty coffee served at an event?

Lattes that turn heads?

Be it a wedding or a roaster promo, let SwaSlu serve it up.

Contact us here to chat : https://swaslu.com/contact.

Espresso String Theory

Origin of the universe complicated! - What makes or breaks an espresso shot? MORE

String Theory:Primer -

In the never ending quest to understand the basic fundamentals of the universe, something called String Theory popped up decades ago.

Just as we experience a three dimensional reality of width-X-height-X-depth with a 4th dimension of time  added,  a height-X-width-X-depth-X-time, so it is theorized that there are 7 more  dimensions making a :

No matter how much of a headache you get attempting to understand this (as all physicists get), you can feel the complexity of such a system, a complexity that is approximated by Espresso.

Next we deal with 11 Espresso dimensions.

When we get done you should appreciate what SwampSlurry provides, a reduction of that complexity to a stellar product for your home, business or event.

Just the facts, Please.

Learn from coffee industry mistakes! - Simple rules to steller Espresso MORE

Things we know... -

Many variables must be continuously monitored and  controlled to ensure a great shot.

One thing we learned is that the failure along the lines of any one variable results in shots of espresso that are just meh and require much sweetener and much dilution (milk/water) to correct for the failure of that one variable.

In the end, we realized that a consistently pulled shot, when frozen immediately and counter to prevailing theory, allows for a tremendous taste to be more consistently provided.

The variables (at least the ones we are willing to tell you) we seek to control:

  1. Good beans
  2. Two shot volume of espresso beans. 
  3. Grind such that clumping occurs but quickly collapses after clumping.
  4. Consistent hot water temperature.
  5. Seconds after contact with water without pressure (ensures that the top layer is evenly saturated)...
  6. push through for a double shot into a 2 oz jar.

That is all there is to it, save for the experienced eye to tune the process almost shot to shot.

By our estimate, a hundred hours of pulling shots this way will make you a pro. 

This process also solves the pull time problem for a coffee shop who is swamped with business.

Simply queue up some of these frozen jars a few minutes in advance in hot water and you can just unscrew the cap and combine the espresso elixer with 200  degred +/-  hot water and have an Americano as quick as pouring a cup of coffee.

Our way is likely to produce a better Americanos and better latte than your machine / barista  combo will.

Note that the espresso shots are still better done by your staff as the crema is not preserved with this method, although the taste is.

Old Guard still standing ...

  • BBC
  • --China coronavirus spread is accelerating, Xi Jinping warns
  • --Impeachment: Democrats undoing 2016 election, say Trump lawyers
  • --Boeing 777X: World’s largest twin-engine jet completes first flight
  • --Zach LaVine scores 44 points and just misses his first career triple-double in the Bulls’ 118-106 vi
  • --Gene Corrigan, former NCAA president who hired Lou Holtz and Muffet McGraw as Notre Dame’s athletic
  • --‘I never knew him to have anything against anybody.’ Mother at a loss after retired state trooper ki
  • NPR
  • --Iraqi Security Forces Storm Tahrir Square, Clash With Protesters
  • --Coronavirus Update: What's New In The Evolving Outbreak
  • --'Our Democracy Is In Danger': Muslims In India Say Police Target Them With Violence
  • --Rudy Pal Lev Parnas Releases Hour-Long Audio of Trump Calling for Ukraine Ambassador’s Firing
  • --Over 10 countries now have confirmed cases of coronavirus: China, France, Japan, Australia, Malaysia
  • --Hospital staff in Wuhan are wearing adult diapers because they don't have time to pee while caring f

Indie news of note ...

  • --Alaska’s Public Safety Officer Program Is Failing. Can It Be Saved?
  • --After Our Reporting, Connecticut Officials Are Taking On Housing Segregation
  • --Operation Encore and the Saudi Connection: A Secret History of the 9/11 Investigation
  • --What you need to know: Legal advice for immigrants in NYC
  • --MTA Studies Adding Passenger Service to Rail Line Linking Brooklyn and Queens
  • --Does NYC Have a Handle on Hate Crimes?
  • --How to Vote in the Primary in the March 3 Election
  • --Santa Clara County Floats Universal Basic Income Proposal for Foster Youth
  • --Tent Counts Fluctuate, Vehicle Dweller Numbers Grow in S.F.
  • --Welcome To WNHH!
  • --ShopRite Workers Shop ... At Food Pantry
  • --The Education Of Jayuan Carter

Science feeds of note ...

  • --For hottest planet, a major meltdown, study shows
  • --Spacewalking astronauts close to fixing cosmic ray detector
  • --Scientists to search for relatives of extinct Galapagos tortoises
  • --Astronauts complete 4-spacewalk marathon to fix space station's $2 billion antimatter detector
  • --Rocket Lab's 1st launch of 2020 is for the National Reconnaissance Office, the US spysat agency
  • --Trump unveils new Space Force logo (yes, it looks like something from 'Star Trek')
  • --Boeing's New 777X, the World's Largest Twin-Engine Jet, Completes Maiden Flight
  • --2009 Crash of Boeing 737 NG Now Receiving New Scrutiny
  • --Consider Switching From Internet Explorer, Says US Homeland Security

Evolution feeds of note ...

  • --Trait-Based Assessments of Climate-Change Impacts on Interacting Species
  • --Coloration in Mammals
  • --Mixed Models Offer No Freedom from Degrees of Freedom
  • --Conservative Extremists Are Afraid of Threats That Don’t Exist
  • --Why Evolutionary Psychology (Probably) Isn’t Possible
  • --What is Radicalization?
  • --Este extraño microbio podría ser clave para entender la vida en la Tierra
  • --Meteorite or Volcano? New Clues to the Dinosaurs’ Demise
  • --This Strange Microbe May Mark One of Life’s Great Leaps
  • --Evolutionary diversity in tropical tree communities peaks at intermediate precipitation
  • --CREBBP and WDR 24 Identified as Candidate Genes for Quantitative Variation in Red-Brown Plumage Colo
  • --The Association Between Play Fighting and Information Gathering during Subsequent Contests

Espresso feeds of note ...

  • --Cómo el Cold Brew Capturó el Mercado de Los Millennials
  • --Onboarding New Baristas: What Café Owners Need To Know
  • --Speakers & Schedule Announced For Producer & Roaster Forum 2020
  • --[MOD] The Official Noob-Tastic Question Fest
  • --[MOD] What have you been brewing this week?/ Coffee bean recommendations
  • --Fun Aeropress Gravity & Pressure Cold Brew Methods
  • --Quiz: What Generation Of Coffee Professional Are You?
  • --There’s A Brand New Espresso Theory For Everyone To Argue About
  • --Shrinking The Carioca: A Trip To Coffee Five In Rio De Janeiro